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6 Types of Adultery You Probably Didn’t Know About

Updated: 3 days ago

6 Types of Adultery You Probably Did not Know About

By: Lady Kenyatta Ruth Foy

Thou shalt not commit adultery” – says the seventh commandment. The Old Testament states, “He who commits adultery has no sense and whoever does so destroys himself”. According to Lord Jesus indulging in adulterous feelings is equally detrimental to the soul as a real act of infidelity and both bear the same credence.

This Information will help you to know adultery and its types.

Adultery is one of the most exceedingly terrible things that can happen to a relationship or marriage and abuses all that you've worked with your accomplice in such an excruciating way. A large number of us who have been a casualty to a double-crossing issue did not see it coming. We were caught unaware, and before we could even process what was going on were included inwardly, physically or both with a man other than our life partner. Treachery can feel the like the most exceedingly bad thing that has ever occurred in your relationship or marriage. The lethal hit to any relationship or marriage is a double-crossing issue where one or the two companions think they at long last found the individual they were intended to be with. Once persuaded that he or she wedded the wrong individual or that God put somebody knew in his or her life, separation can flourish and obliterate your marriage or relationships. Blinded by the double dealing of the issue, a great many people have no clue how they arrived, and don't know how to get out. There's no uncertainty about it; adultery influences relational unions in the most exceedingly bad way. While every one of us know about physical adultery, there are various different types of adultery that are similarly as harming. Here are six sorts of adultery you likely didn't think about.

Passionate Adultery

Couples frequently consider physical unfaithfulness first with regards to put stock in infringement in the relationship, however regularly ignore enthusiastic disloyalty. In view of enthusiastic closeness, passionate undertakings are one of the greatest dangers to connections and on the grounds that they are regularly surrounded as blameless kinships, they aren't generally the most straightforward to recognize. Notwithstanding when you say you are "only companions" there is sexual strain amongst you and the outside gathering. At the point when there are issues in your relationship, you or your accomplice may look to another person to fill the void. You start to share personal and private data about your relationship and ask your "companion" for exhortation. At the point when circumstances become difficult in the relationship, you start to swing to them for help, exhortation and consideration you're never again getting or searching for in your own particular marriage or relationship. Telephones and PCs are rearing justification for passionate disloyalty. On the off chance that you all of a sudden locate your cherished one on the telephone or PC a great deal, particularly at odd hours and they get guarded when you go up against them about it, it's an ideal opportunity to check the records.

Energetic Adultery

While this kind of adultery is difficult to see, if delayed, you will start to physically observe it appear in your relationship. Cases of vigorous adultery incorporates: wrong considerations, imagining about a man other than your accomplice, fantasizing about other individuals as you're laying down with your accomplice, going to specific spots realizing that a man you're sexually pulled in to will be there, looking for eye to eye connection with somebody you're sexually pulled in to, watching erotic entertainment, particularly if your accomplice doesn't think about it and taking a gander at various online networking profiles of individuals that you have sexual enthusiasm for, in addition to other things. While this type of treachery may appear to be innocuous, it will noiselessly attack your relationship. Physical conning regularly starts with this kind of swindling. In case you're doing any of the things already specified, it's best to remove this ahead of schedule before it truly escapes hand. Ask yourself how you would get a handle on in the event that you discovered your accomplice was doing these things. On the off chance that the appropriate response is something besides great, stop this now.

Mental Adultery

It’s absolutely impossible we can discuss physical adultery without discussing mental adultery. It is one of the most serious issues annihilating relational unions today. Mental adultery is to look with a deliberate and cognizant want to satisfy desire; to picture circumstances in the brain; to think adultery in the psyche with a man to the point that if the open door were exhibited you would submit the physical demonstration. It isn't simply something tormenting our connections now. Mental adultery additionally occurred amid scriptural circumstances. The Bible says this type of adultery a few times, especially in Matthew and Mark. Jesus stated, "Yet I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a lady to desire her hath conferred adultery with her as of now in his heart" (Matthew 5:28); "For out of the heart continue… sexual episodes… " (Matthew 15:19); "Out of the core of a man continue abhorrent considerations, infidelities, sexual episodes," (Mark 7:20-21). What's so undermining about this type of adultery is the way that individuals don't consider it as important in light of the fact that no physical demonstration has occurred.

Visual Adultery

Visual adultery is conferring adultery with your eyes. It's regularly misdirecting and simple for those doing it to not consider genuinely in light of the fact that they're not conferring a physical demonstration. Numerous individuals think as long as they aren't physically touching somebody other than their companion, they are not being unfaithful. Be that as it may, the more you confer visual adultery, the more probable you are to wind up physical undermining your accomplice. This takes us ideal back to Matthew when Jesus says that on the off chance that you simply look with desire you have conferred adultery in your heart. Desire can be sorted as taking a gander at somebody or somebody's body since you think they look great or might look great. This isn't to be mistaken for simply seeing somebody. You can see a man's style, hair shading or body manufacture; be that as it may, yearning is extraordinary. This includes you purposefully coordinating your eyes towards somebody since they look great or are sexually engaging you.

Spiritual Adultery

This type of adultery doesn't include unfaithfulness to your accomplice, yet unfaithfulness to God. It truly needs to do with having an unreasonable affection for things of the world. In the Bible it is contrasted with the unfaithfulness of one's mate: "However like a lady fickle to her sweetheart, even so have you been irresolute to me, O place of Israel,' says the LORD" (Jeremiah 3:20). Sacred text advises us that individuals who be companions with the world are a "two-timing individuals" having "animosity against God" (James 4:4-5). In this section, the "world" is the arrangement of insidiousness under Satan's control. Profound adultery incorporates any type of excessive admiration and is a noteworthy subject all through the Old Testament. Jesus reminds us exactly how destructive this shape adultery can be. Jesus stated, "Nobody can serve two bosses. Possibly you will abhor the one and love the other, or you will be dedicated to the one and scorn the other" (Matthew 6:24). It's imperative as adherents that we abandon the world us, the cross before us. No turning back.

Adultery is one of the simplest approaches to harm a relationship. Once in a while the harm is so overwhelming, the marriage can appear unrecoverable. The reason adultery is so difficult to work through is on account of it decimates trust, which is the establishment to any solid and working relationship. Adultery can fall even the most grounded bonds and decimate your relationship from the back to front. Despite the fact that you may not think these offenses are that genuine now, on the off chance that you consistently take an interest in these types of tricking, they can have some destructive results.

Financial Adultery

Financial infidelity, also known as financial adultery, is when a romantic partner intentionally lies about money or misrepresents financial information to their significant other. This can include hiding debt, making large purchases without telling their partner, or lying about their income. It can also involve having secret bank accounts, credit cards, or savings accounts.

Financial infidelity can have a negative impact on a relationship's trust and stability. According to a 2023 Bankrate survey, nearly a quarter of Americans have admitted to some form of financial infidelity.

Some signs that a partner may be financially deceiving you include:

  • Being defensive or refusing to discuss finances when you want to talk about money

  • You don't trust your partner 

Some ways to help overcome financial infidelity include:

  • Creating a budget: A budget is a spending plan based on your income and expenses.

  • Being transparent: Be open about your expenses and reassess your goals together.

  • Having regular check-ins: Schedule regular financial check-ins with your partner.

In some states, financial infidelity can be grounds for divorce, even in a no-fault divorce.

Best Bible Verses About Adultery and Cheating

This is an article I wish I didn't have to write.

God meant for marriage to be forever, 'until death do us part.' Sadly, that is not the world we live in, at least not yet.

As a wife of a pastor, a professor of psychology and a licensed marriage and family therapist and addiction counselor, I have had the privilege of meeting with couples for marriage counseling, addiction counseling or consulting. Dr. Foy and I are personally aware of a plethora of Christian marriages and relationships that didn't survive or that’s even under manifold trials and tribulations. We have also watched our own parents go through difficult relationships and divorces. While God has gifted us with an ordained Godly marriage, we've had to work hard at it and have had our own multifarious struggles and challenges, too.

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Subsequently, collectively we’re incredibly motivated to help individuals worldwide to avoid this painful and harsh reality in your their own lives. There are many ways to go about that, but one of the most powerful is to see what God says about sin, adultery, cheating and divorce, then ask him for help to live it out.

In this article, you will find 35 powerful Bible verses that reveal the gravity of these actions and their outcomes. You will also discover the hope and the healing that God offers to those who repent and seek His forgiveness. Not to mention the strength he offers to help us do what he requires.

So, grab your Bible - or Bible app - and join me on this journey, as we explore the wisdom and the guidance that God’s word gives us to live faithfully and righteously.

What Are Adultery And Cheating, Anyway?

Before we see what God's word says, though, let's take a moment to look at a definition of adultery and cheating so we're on the same page.

Adultery and cheating are, obviously, both grievous sins in the Bible that involve betraying your spouse through sexual or emotional unfaithfulness. Adultery is when a married person engages in sexual behavior with someone who is not their spouse. It is not limited to sexual intercourse, and breaks the holy bond of marriage and is strongly condemned in the Bible. refer to my examples above, at the header of this article! Now moving right along.

Cheating is a broader term that covers any kind of lying or deceiving your partner, including having emotional or physical affairs. As one survey reveals, though, there is a lot of confusion on what counts as cheating among American evangelicals. For example, only 37 percent believe that going to a strip club without your partner would qualify.

With this background in mind, let's dig into what the bible says about these topics. If you're in a difficult place in your relationship or marriage or tempted toward involvement a sexual relationship, obviously, these verses are especially important for you. I hope you'll take a few minutes to read them and ask God for help and strength.

If your marriage is in a better place, praise God. But we know that our enemy is always looking for an opportunity to 'steal, kill, and destroy' (John 10:10). So - even if you know and agree with these passages in theory - ask God to help them sink in a bit deeper and help you stay faithful and committed. And to keep building a healthy marriage.

Pastor/Apostle Darol McCoy one of the godliest men I know, has said he prays for protection for his marriage daily. Kenneth & Myself begun (started) to follow his example and encourage you to do that for your marriage, too.

Alright, let's take a look at what God has to say about this weighty topic. I've added a few comments (in parentheses) to provide a bit of context as appropriate. I've also included the verses themselves here for easy reference so you can pray through the ones that catch your attention.

35 Best Bible Verses About Adultery and Cheating

You shall not commit adultery.

He who commits adultery lacks sense; he who does it destroys himself. (This is obvious, but in the moment it may not feel like it.)

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Jesus is so counter-cultural. Many guys will say, 'I'm just looking; that doesn't hurt anyone,' but in God's eyes what we do with our hearts and bodies are much closer than we think.)

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.

And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. (Notice we're called to take action against adultery.)

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality...

You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. (This is important: in many places, the Bible talks about spiritual adultery, elevating something - or someone - above God. Affairs are ultimately worship issues.)

But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death. (While adultery, cheating, and other sexual sins are incredibly serious, from another perspective they are just another form of sin, which is clear from lists like the one here.)

The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, 'Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?' This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, 'Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.' And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, 'Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?' She said, 'No one, Lord.' And Jesus said, 'Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.' (While we're not entirely sure this passage is biblical, it certainly fits with what we know of Jesus. He is so incredibly gracious to us, no matter how badly we've messed up. If you have failed in this area, know that Jesus stands ready to forgive you, even as he calls you to 'sin now more.')

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her... (As they say in sports, sometimes 'the best defense is a good offense.' In other words, loving our wives proactively and sacrificially like Jesus loves us, his church, is one important component of avoiding the sin of adultery.)

But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

And you shall not commit adultery.

If a man commits adultery with the wife of his neighbor, both the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. (While our society does not administer the death penalty for adultery as Israel did, this verse shows just how seriously God considers it.)

Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery. (Here, Jesus gives a legitimate reason for divorce: sexual immorality on the part of one's spouse.)

How can I pardon you? Your children have forsaken me and have sworn by those who are no gods. When I fed them to the full, they committed adultery and trooped to the houses of whores.

I have seen your abominations, your adulteries and neighings, your lewd whorings, on the hills in the field. Woe to you, O Jerusalem! How long will it be before you are made clean?

But in the prophets of Jerusalem I have seen a horrible thing: they commit adultery and walk in lies; they strengthen the hands of evildoers, so that no one turns from his evil; all of them have become like Sodom to me, and its inhabitants like Gomorrah.

For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander.

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. (Paul is not saying that anyone who has ever committed these sins is not a Christian; he's saying that, if we do not repent and practice them habitually, it reveals that we are not Christians.)

For the commandments, 'You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet, and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' (If we are focused on actively loving others, we will also steer clear from the sins God tells us to avoid.)

In the spring of the year, the time when kings go out to battle, David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel. And they ravaged the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem.

It happened, late one afternoon, when David arose from his couch and was walking on the roof of the king's house, that he saw from the roof a woman bathing; and the woman was very beautiful. And David sent and inquired about the woman. And one said, “Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?” So David sent messengers and took her, and she came to him, and he lay with her. (Now she had been purifying herself from her uncleanness.) Then she returned to her house. And the woman conceived, and she sent and told David, “I am pregnant.” (Notice that at 'the time when kings go out to battle... David remained at Jerusalem.' We're not sure about David's exact motives for staying back, but the narrator seems to suggest part of his fall into sin involved idleness and not being where he was supposed to be. Actively pursuing God's calling in our lives is one safeguard against falling into sexual sin.)

So you will be delivered from the forbidden woman, from the adulteress with her smooth words, who forsakes the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God; for her house sinks down to death, and her paths to the departed; none who go to her come back, nor do they regain the paths of life.

For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword...Drink water from your own cistern, flowing water from your own well. Should your springs be scattered abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be for yourself alone, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? (Notice the deceitful nature of adultery and sexual sin: it looks great at first, but 'in the end' it proves to be disastrous. Another call to rejoice in our own spouse's sexuality, too.)

To preserve you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes...Can a man carry fire next to his chest and his clothes not be burned? Or can one walk on hot coals and his feet not be scorched? So is he who goes in to his neighbor's wife; none who touches her will go unpunished. (I recently read the story of a pastor who, ten years ago, fell into sexual sin with a woman from his congregation. However, someone else found out about it and just recently made it known publicly. Of course, God sees all we do and he will eventually expose our sins, even it takes awhile.)

She saw that for all the adulteries of that faithless one, Israel, I had sent her away with a decree of divorce. Yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but she too went and played the whore.

For they have committed adultery, and blood is on their hands. With their idols they have committed adultery, and they have even offered up to them for food the children whom they had borne to me.

Swearing, lying, murder, stealing, and committing adultery; they break all bounds, and bloodshed follows bloodshed.

Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. (Yes! More grace for our trials: we can rely on God, who will never let us be tempted beyond what we can handle - there is always a way out. If you're in a moment where you feel like you're trapped, what's one escape route God might be offering you?)

Behold, I will throw her onto a sickbed, and those who commit adultery with her I will throw into great tribulation, unless they repent of her works.

For nothing will be impossible with God. (This is a verse from the story where the miraculous birth of Jesus is foretold, but we can apply it much more broadly, including to the sorts of situations we're discussing here.)

For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

David said to Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord. And Nathan said to David, The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die. (It's worth reading all of 2 Samuel 11-12, and in one reading. God's forgiveness here is another reminder of his grace in the midst of our most grievous sins. David and Bathsheba would soon go on to give birth to another son, Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived.)

'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Paul, quoting Genesis 2:24, says that God designed marriage to point to the relationship God has with us through Christ! This is what marriage is for and will help guard us from falling into sin.)

Key takeaways

As we read these powerful verses about adultery and cheating, it's important to also reflect on them in a practical way. Here are some key takeaways that emphasize the significance of faithfulness in relationships and the consequences of straying from God's design for marriage.

In the kingdom of God, marriage is a sacred covenant between one man and one woman. Adultery, a violation of this covenant, is condemned throughout the Bible. The Old Testament provides clear guidance on the importance of fidelity in marriage. It states that a married woman shouldn't commit adultery and that a man shouldn't covet his neighbor's wife.

Jesus further emphasizes the seriousness of adultery in the New Testament, proclaiming that whoever looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery in his heart. The will of God is for husbands and wives to love and honor each other, remaining faithful in thought and action.

To say a bit more, adultery and cheating start in the heart and are ultimately worship issues. The real problems begin with our relationship with God, and prizing something (or someone) above him. The Bible calls this 'idolatry' and, at times, 'adultery.' In other words, when we put something before God, it's a form of cheating on him.

An essential aspect of faithfulness to our spouse involves delighting in him or her, and pursuing spiritual intimacy together. To channel what one pastor said, when we're satisfied with the steak on the grill, the burger from McDonald's becomes a lot less tempting!

God's grace is the final word! Regardless of whether we've been physically faithful to our spouse, we have all committed adultery in our hearts, especially toward God. Yet he is always ready to take us back, eager to shower us with his grace and mercy like the Father in the Parable of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11-32).

As you think about the verses above, what is one of your takeaways?

Many Reasons To Stay Faithful - And God's Strength To Do It

In conclusion, God's Word is practical and realistic. God knows we are weak and will be tempted to be unfaithful - both to him and our spouses.

So, knowing each of us is different, he gives us many reasons to stay faithful. And many different passages - stories, proverbs, commands, warnings, blessings, and promises of future blessing - some of which are sure to appeal to us. (Which ones appeal most to you?)

Perhaps most importantly, God has given Christians his Holy Spirit - God living inside of us(!) - to help us resist temptation and honor him. And, of course, our spouses.

Paul perhaps said it best in Galatians 5:

'But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh... But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires' (verses 15, 22-24).

Through our relationship with Jesus, the power of sin in our lives has been radically broken ('crucified the flesh') so that we are free to breathe the oxygen of love and self-control healthy marriages require. You're not alone in your fight against sin; the challenge is to lean into the victory Jesus has already won.

Your Turn

Be honest: are you in a season where you are tempted to give into adultery, cheating, or some other form of sexual sin? If you are, take a few moments and ask God for help, which he loves to give.

If you're not, take a moment and praise God - that's his grace at work!

Which of the reasons and passages for avoiding adultery, cheating and divorce most appeal to you? Why?

Part of God's rescue plan for staying faithful to him and our spouses involves letting other Christians in on our struggles. (See: the 'one another' passages in the Bible.) Even if this isn't an area of particular struggle for you, it's something worth touching base about as you connect with your closest Christian friends.

Frequently Asked Questions

If you're the kind of person who skims and skips to the bottom, this FAQ section is for you. 😉

What Are Some Practical Steps to Avoid Falling Into Adultery or Cheating?

To avoid falling into adultery or cheating, focus on building a strong foundation in your relationship, communicate openly and honestly, set wise healthy boundaries, seek accountability, and rely on God's guidance.

How Can a Person Rebuild Trust in a Relationship After Adultery or Cheating Has Occurred?

To rebuild trust in a relationship after adultery or cheating, it's important to take full responsibility, show genuine repentance, and commit to open communication. Seek forgiveness, work on personal growth, and rely on God's guidance to restore trust and rebuild a strong foundation. Also, seek help from your pastor and a seasoned Christian counselor or therapist.

Are There Any Biblical Stories or Examples That Illustrate the Consequences of Adultery and Cheating?

There are several biblical stories and examples that illustrate the consequences of adultery and cheating. Perhaps the most well-known is that of King David from 2 Samuel 11-12, as well as the prayer he wrote about his fall into sin (Psalm 51). While these narratives serve as cautionary tales, reminding us of the damage caused by such actions and the importance of faithfulness in relationships, they also remind us of God's staggering grace.

What Does the Bible Say About Forgiveness and Redemption for Those Who Have Committed Adultery or Cheated?

The Bible teaches that forgiveness and redemption are available to those who have committed adultery or cheated. While there will still be very serious consequences, possibly including divorce, God's grace is sufficient to cleanse and restore, offering a second chance for those who seek repentance and turn to Him. Again, David serves as a shining example.

How Can the Teachings in These Bible Verses Be Applied to Modern-Day Relationships and Marriages?

While the Bible was completed roughly 2,000(!) years ago, it is truly timeless because it is written 'by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness' (2 Timothy 3:16). For that reason, it is also deeply insightful and powerful (Hebrews 4:12-13), and can strengthen and protect our marriages and relationships today.

~Inspired By: Bryan Stoudt Christian Premarital Counseling & Engagement

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