Insight
Psychology Today
Your Secret
Weapon
Keeping good news to yourself could be energizing, whether or not you eventually share it.
KEEPING A SECRET from the people closest to you is often seen as a bur-den—and indeed, past research has generally found concealing information to be stressful and mentally fatiguing. Yet those effects may be
most apparent for negative secrets, new research finds-and, in fact, keeping a positive secret, even indefi-nitely, could give you a surprising psychological boost.
Rescarchers led by Michael Slepian of Columbia
Business School asked participants to consider secrets-positive, negative, or neutral-that they currently held or may one day hold, then assessed their energy levels, happi-ness, motivation for keeping the secret, and whether or not they intended to share it. They found that keeping a positive secret-such as getting a surprise financial windfall or winning an award-signifi-cantly increased psychological energy, defined by the researchers as feeling alert, in-vigorated, or more alive.
Positive secrets were activating independent of how happy they made participants feel or whether they intended to share them or stay mum.
Why might keeping a happy secret increase our vitality, while darker secrets deplete it? The researchers concluded that positive secrets were invigorating because they were much more likely to be intrinsically motivated-that is, participants tended to keep the secrets because doing so made them feel good or aligned with their values, not because they were afraid of what might happen if their secret was found out. With negative secrets, Slepian explains, *People are more likely to think, If this came out, people would think less of me or Someone would get hurt." Doing something for oneself, rather than in response to external pressures, has long been known to increase feelings of autonomy self a key ingredient in vitaliry and engagement with the task at hand.
Sharing uplifting information with loved ones can undoubtedly be good for us, strengthening our relationships and our own well being. But keeping some good news to yourself, even for a little while, could bring a much-needed mental boost.
And there could be a way to have your cake and eat it, too," Slepian notes: Since positive secrets were energizing even if participants intended to eventually share them, you can still spill the beans when the time is right.
-Devon Frye
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