A Missive from an Empath Kenyatta_Ruth
If you are a giver please know your limits cause the takers don't have
any.
While I love to help others, I am not responsible for fixing your life or catering to your toxicity. I am not responsible for managing your triggers, walking on eggshells or telling you what you want to hear in order to keep the peace. I am not your emotional punching bag nor am I your emotional sponge. I do not exist for your pleasure or as a site for your projected pain.
My responsibility is to God first, then myself - to be my own person and stay true to myself - to heal my own wounds, manage my own triggers, and engage in self-care so that I can give to others authentically without depleting myself in the process.
Hi
My responsibility is to maintain healthy boundaries especially with those who are unhealthy.
Energy Speaks Volumes.
Whenever you're with someone, notice how You feel. Notice if you feel guarded, sad, and uncomfortable.
Thats a sign that maybe you, shouldn't spend much time with them or any more time with them for that matter.
IF you feel light, comfortable, safe, and happy, its most likely a sign that this persons great for you, and
that's your person.
The 1st step to healing is acceptance.
You have to accept the true colors that people show you, no matter what you thought they were or how they used to act. Stop romanticizing people who are hurting you. Repeated mistakes aren't accidents,
that's their behavior.
I say this as humble as I know
how to do so!
"How you treat me is between you and God.
The way I respond to you is between me and God."
Behind healthy relationships are:
difficult conversations, breakdown of egos, + a commitment to love as mutual evolution.
Allow Yourself To Be
Loved.
Just Relax & Breathe
We must begin to normalize going into a healing cocoon where you disappear for a period of time to be alone, read, listen to podcasts, learn to set healthy boundaries, and spend time in GOD & nature.
You'll be a completely different human being when you emerge.
True Love Is Not Found, It Is Built.
I've come to realization "that you're sleeping with the enemy, when you're in bed by yourself"...
We are our own worst enemy, we give the devil and his imps to much power. We blame them for everything, for all of our mistakes and calamities!
We have to practice dying to our egos and identities, and put on the mind of Christ!
Philippians 2:5-11 KJV
5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
7 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:
8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.
9 Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name:
10 That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth;
11 And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Breaking Trauma Bonds
When you are loved intensely one minute and then abused the next, this helps create trauma bonds.
To breakthrough a trauma bond, you must recognize the up and down intensity mixed with deep moments of neglect and abuse are destructive.
A narcissist or psychopath will thrive in the cycle of trauma bonding but their victims won't.
If you're in a relationship you wish you could leave, you're not thriving and you need to start creating a bond with your wounded self, as you break the trauma bond with the person who uses sex, validation, and then periods of neglect to keep you enslaved.
Please Reach Out To Our Specialists For Assistance With Your Query!
Trauma bonds are not fun. They hijack our minds, make us physically ill and cause us to become obsessed with pleasing an abuser.
(Stockholm Syndrome)
It refers to the bond that develops between hostages and their captors, in hostage-taking and kidnapping situations, I.E, (even in relationship's & dysfunctional family dynamics & marriage's) this dark and clandestine level of passive aggression, violence, power and control occurs often and now quite frequently in this climate we're living in!
In many cases, hostages & victims develop sympathies for their captors and their cause — and even turn against the police, relatives, friends and acquaintances for their abusers!
Trauma bonds are what all fantasies are made of, from intense sexual relationships, to intoxicating highs and debilitating lows. Trauma bonds are dramatic and chaotic. One minute an abusive person thinks you're awesome and the next they are walking out the door and blaming you for why they need to go!
If you've ever been trauma bonded, you may have wished you could end the relationship but could not. You may have known the relationship was toxic, but you felt compelled to try and figure out how you could get your partner to come back, sit and listen, hear you out and love you again.
Trauma bonds are easy to spot in other people, but not so easy to spot in ourselves. Our minds will justify chasing after the person who validates us one minute and then discards us in the next.
Like Pavlov's dogs, we have been conditioned to salivate at the slightest hint our abuser will take us back, calm down, sleep with us, or agree to speak with us.
Trauma bonds have nothing to do with love. Narcissists & psychopaths thrive in trauma bonded relationships while victims suffer.
Please know there is help and recognizing the intense ups and downs is a sign you're in a toxic relationship is step one.
BREAKING TRAUMA BONDS
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